Feminine Appeal: Chapter 4

The Safety of Self-Control

Romans 7:18-19:"I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing".

Before I even get past the first few paragraphs, I'm struck in the face, almost with tears in my eyes, as I read this passage of scripture. I am reminded of my evening with Cambree. It all started with just "I want a taco too, Mommy". And ended so much harder, as she screamed, gagged, and threw a FIT because "I don't like this" after not even taking a bite. My rule, is you ask for it, you're going to taste it. So for over an hour, she got to sit at the dinner table, eventually alone, and 'try' her dinner. I threatened 'no juice, no milk, no tea.. just water', threatened a swat, time out, bed time... I tried everything, and so did her Daddy. And it ended in a heap of trouble and getting very sternly talked to and put on her bed for time out. Eventually I got a "Mommmmmmyyyyyy...." coming out of her bedroom wtih an "I'm sorry for gagging and being bad". That melts my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

But I need to learn from this chapter, tonight, apparently. Because I haven't been able to pick this book up in several days.. and BOOM, tonight it slaps me across the face with this passage, and this statement:"Self control will allow us to be able to meet our goals, decline temptations, and even resist the temptation to lash our at our child."

I find comfort in a statement that the book makes, where it reminds us that Scripture states that the Lord is always present to help us with needs- delighting in bringing glory to His name by enabling us to overcome patterns of sin (i.e., the lack of self-control).

In Proverbs 25:28, we read, "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls".


I know I don't want to be looked upon as a broken entity that lives a life of chaos. Self-control is the wall of defense we have against the enemies of our soul... which can include the world, the devil, and even most of all, ourselves.

More than anything, I hope and pray that the relationship that I have with my girls is one that they admire and love.. knowing that I'm their best friend for life.. but the sin of lack of self-control, of my anger and being impatient, is something that will deliver a negative consequence in our relationship if we let it. So I pray tonight, that God will grant me more patience and self-control with them as they grow.. leading to a strong relationship. One that cannot be broken, no matter what kind of day they have, or I have.

At this point, the book turns into a different setting, looking at other areas where self control should be disciplined:

Our appetities: I think I'm doing pretty well in this area right now. I'm going on 4 weeks of eating right and working out. But the chapter reminds me that we are to eat with Thanksgiving (yes, always)- because God has provided for us. Also, shown in Proverbs 23:20-21, we see this: "Be not among drunkards or among gluttoneous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber with clothe them with rags". Once again, I feel that I'm doing pretty good. I eat to nourish my body now. Not just because I want something to eat and stuff myself miserable from it!! But then the last sentence caught me. "Am I seeking my own glory or God's glory with my eating habits". Nowhere in the Bible does it state that we have to be thin. We should not necessarily strive for self-glorification, but for the glorification of the Father.. and that's something we have to learn. I have to learn..

Sleeping: The restorer of our physical strength. God made our bodies where we HAVE to sleep... HE is the only one that does not require sleep. Once again.. they struck me with something... This: "I have heard of women who pride themselves on being "night people". ....Once a young wife begins getting up earlier than her children and her husband, she will cease to be a "night person". She will be tired at night & go to bed at a reasonable hour so she will be there to serve her family the next morning". Yes, I'm guilty. I like to stay up. And I don't roll out of bed until Cambree crawls in bed with me, or Camryn cries and I stumble in to see her pretty smile. So I'm guilty. Maybe I should try to gain more self-control in this area, as well.

Thoughts & Feelings: This is short to say, probably more difficult to carry through with... "Sinful thoughts & sinful feelings lead to sinful behaviors". From this, I think what I know I must try to yearn for is to even moreso stucture my thought processes around what is good in God's eyes. And have Him help re-direct my thoughts to 'good' when I'm having a bad day or thinking horrible things about whatever the situation may be. Now, feelings. Our feelings are either ruled by sin, or ruled by truth. I think that the key here is to try to realize when feelings are ruled by one or the other. And act accordingly.

Our Behavior: Oh boy. Once again, slap! This was my wake-up call for the evening. I mean, it was just tonight that I got sooo frustrated with my daugther that I finally had to take a 'time out' and let her 'cool off' in her room. Here lately I feel like way too many times I've had to make her 'time out' on the couch or 'go on, I'm busy'... but I think sometimes it's MY behaviors that need to be examined. Not hers. I need to be more mindful of that. :( I did get a giggle from this sub-chapter. "We have the monumental task of feeding, clothing, carpooling, cleaning, doctoring, counseling, encouraging, correcting, training, and coordinating multiple lives at once". I couldn't have said it better. But with that in mind, I must still strive to let the behavior that I carry out while doing these things be carried through with the help of God.

In conclusion of this segment, I know I need to remember "Apart from me you can do nothing" John 15:5



I can't do it all by myself. But with HIS help, I can be a better Mother, Wife, Friend, Doctor, Chef, Maid, Counselor, Encourager, Trainer, and anything else that life calls me to be. ;-)